Aunt Thelma Mitten Eulogy

We’re here today to remember, to begin to make meaning of, and to pass on the legacy of our sister, mother, grandmother, aunt and friend Thelma Avis Mitten. I’d like to thank my cousins Don, Mary, Peter, Bruce and Julian for the privilege of being a part of this ceremony.

Aunt Thelma was born to Jesse and Mary Hazel Pitts on April 14, 1913 in Stinesville Indiana—a village surrounded by limestone quarries that provided work for her father and her oldest brother, Clovis. That same year, Henry Ford’s assembly line started making Model T’s, the Panama Canal opened, and World War One was still a year away.

Faith

Aunt Thelma’s love of the Lord can be traced first to the influence of her godly mother Mary Hazel, an extraordinary woman herself, then to the influence of the Stinesville Church of the Nazarene and to her own personal decision to make God the center of her life. Phil remembers that when he was a boy, Grandma Mary Hazel and Aunt Thelma would spend time together in prayer, often praying for the boys who remained at home. Later, her faith was enhanced and deepened through her experience as a student and Dean of Women at Olivet Nazarene College. After her marriage, guests who stayed in the bedroom next to Aunt Thelma and Uncle Lloyd in their home would sometimes hear them reading scripture or a devotional and praying early in the morning. Although the church struggled during that time with the meaning of holiness, Aunt Thelma never let the grammar of the Christian life replace the art or poetry of it. Her children and grandchildren remember that while her own convictions were deeply held, she provided room for each of them to develop and grow spiritually at their own speed and in their own way.

Family

The Pittses were hard workers, but the children grew up in the 30’s and times were tough. The promise of Jeremiah 29:11 must have sometimes seemed very far away, but Aunt Thelma became God’s instrument in beginning to fulfill that promise. Somehow even as a young adult, Aunt Thelma helped her parents get the bills paid and made a point of encouraging her younger brothers. Each visit home from nursing school brought new suggestions and new ideas for the family: her mom should get rid of the unsanitary water bucket and ladle and her brothers should also go to college. When she married Dr. Lloyd Mitten in 1948 at the age of 35, she became part of a new family that included Lloyd’s son Donald, and then also Mary, Peter, Bruce and finally Julian. The family took extended summer trips throughout the United States in a famous succession of station wagons so the kids could see the country they lived in. Peter remembers his mom waiting up for him sometimes until well after midnight, and that a few of their best conversations happened between one and three AM. Her love of family extended to the larger family as well, and although our ancestors came largely from the British Isles, there was something Mediterranean in the frequency and degree of contact she encouraged. She was instrumental in several years of summer weeks at McCormick’s Creek State Park that involved her own family and the families of several of her brothers. Once her own children were grown, she and Julian regularly joined the mix of family members for Christmas in my folks home in Brazil. Her mother Mary Hazel spent her last weeks in Kankakee so that Aunt Thelma could care for her.

Hospitality

It’s impossible to talk about Aunt Thelma without talking about the almost magical house on the curve at 371 East Marsile: the welcoming fireplace visible from the front door, the piano and stereo in the famous turret to the left and the shelves of books beyond the French doors to the right. The dining room beyond hosted visiting missionaries, ONC faculty or academics from other Nazarene institutions, legions of homesick college students, all feeling a sense of privilege at being in the house. In the interest of full disclosure, there are mixed reports about the cooking. Some remember the smells of scratch-made yeast rolls and fruit pies. Others recall failed jello experiments disguised with parsley or swirls of mayonnaise. No matter. The attraction was not the food. Somehow there was a sense of special privilege at being in a place where faith and family and the world of ideas came together in such an intoxicating and inspiring way.

Education

From the time she was named valedictorian of her class at Stinesville High School, it was clear that Aunt Thelma valued education and she made a point of being enrolled in a college or living near one. With high school completed, she went on to graduate from the Louisville Hospital School of Nursing, Indiana university and Olivet Nazarene College. After a short time as the head nurse at the hospital in Bloomington Indiana, she was invited to become school nurse and Dean of Women at Olivet and stayed within the sound of its chapel bells for the rest of her life. People who didn’t know her as a formal student remember her as a voracious reader. Horizontal surfaces in the home on marsile were strewn with art books, copies of the New York Times, the Atlantic Monthly, and the New Yorker as well as the Herald of Holiness and missionary books. One family member observed that she illustrated a quotation he had heard that while some people talked about themselves and some people gossiped about others, genuinely “first rate” people talked about ideas.

In a few minutes, some additional people are going to share memories about Aunt Thelma. You may want to tell stories about coffee, or driving habits, or style of dress or the incident at the gas station on the way to Uncle Bob’s, but my own attempts to make meaning lead me to two great gifts from Aunt Thelma. Research by the psychologist Albert Bandura concluded that optimism can be passed on and described some ways it can happen. The first behavior which promoted optimism is seeing someone similar to you succeed, and Aunt Thelma’s first gift was modeling. If a girl, if a member of the Pitts family, if a conservative Christian like Thelma could get an education, have a deepening love for the Lord, travel the world, love books and art and music and ideas---then maybe other girls, other Pittses, other conservative Christians could do that too. As a Christian academic, I would say she modeled the dramatic, potentially life-changing synergy between a deep faith and a rigorous Christian higher education. It was demonstrated in her life, it was displayed in her home, it was practiced, often, at her dinner table—thoughtful, stimulating conversation, surrounded by books and art, with Christian academics and missionaries and students and pastors from all over the world. Thank you Aunt Thelma.

Bandura said a second source of optimism is having someone you respect express confidence in you, and Aunt Thelma seemed to have the gift for asking a question or making a suggestion at just the right time in a person’s life:

· When she and Grandma Mary Hazel would pray in her little cabin on the Bloomington Hospital grounds, some of the prayers were that Uncle Phil and Uncle Bob would be able to get a college education. Uncle Phil writes “I was made to feel worth in her presence and warmed by her interest.” And both he and Uncle Bob got a college education. Thank you, Aunt Thelma.

· When my dad came back from Naval training at the end of world war two, by his own confession a little worldly and cynical, Aunt Thelma invited him to come to ONC—just for the education, but the education turned into a recommitment to the Lord, to meeting his soul-mate Charlotte and, not incidentally, to the birth of their children. Thank you Aunt Thelma.

· My brother Brent remembers that when he was taking elementary French in college, he showed her some pictures of Paris in his textbook. Aunt Thelma said, Why don't you go to France?” At that point, Brent said, he had never even considered it. Going to France seemed like going to another planet. Brent says, “That's the power of a question. It completely changed my life.” Thank you Aunt Thelma.

· Over coffee and dessert at the now-defunct Little Corporal, Aunt Thelma said to this unfocused and discouraged college student—you have a good mind. Why don’t you work toward a Ph.D? Some of my professors at ONC would have been justifiably astonished at the advice, but the pattern of my life can be traced to that suggestion over coffee 36 years ago. Thank you Aunt Thelma.

A word about legacy: in preparing these thoughts, I am inspired and a little intimidated by Aunt Thelma’s modeling and impact. The comfort of Jeremiah 29:11 also becomes a challenge. Somehow Aunt Thelma realized that the hope and promise of Jeremiah 29:11 are not just a miraculous cure to be received. They are antibodies to be developed and passed on to others. As I reflect on Aunt Thelma’s life I am reminded again that each conversation has the potential to re-direct a life or to shape an eternity. I’m inspired to be more intentional in listening for God’s prompting regarding the lives of others and in the use of our home as a haven and a model. For your impact on each of our lives and for your modeling of life-changing involvement with others, thank you Aunt Thelma. My prayer is that each of us who loved and admired Aunt Thelma can live out our appreciation for her in our own commitments to faith, family, hospitality, education, modeling and encouragement.